s/o to emcee war. The card is getting pretty interesting!
Battle Rap News
Bone Crusher vs Mike Jones Going Down On The Fredro Starr vs Keith Murray Card!
September 4, 2014, 8:56 pm
BATTLE RAP EVENTS: THE HOW-TO GUIDE (BOOING ON NIGGAS SQUADS)
September 4, 2014, 8:00 pm
Image by Rehab Regime
BATTLE RAP EVENTS:
THE HOW-TO GUIDE
BOOING ON NIGGAS SQUADS (B.O.N.S.)
How many times has the most anticipated battle on the card been the least interesting to the live crowd and thus, the home viewers? Off the top of my head (like a “pre-buttle”) I can think of Hollow vs Hitman and Mook vs Solomon, but trust me, unless Drect has a top “100 Disappointing Battles” joint coming out, there are too many to name. Fight cards save their headline matchups till last and everybody stays as hype as they can be; the same goes for live concerts and such. So, what’s to blame for this recurring problem in battle rap? The answer: politics ... as usual. And if you’re like Peter Griffin, then casually writing the title of the blog inside this article just got this shit popping for you.
What’s Causing All This
For starters, apparently, punctuality isn’t one of the four fucking elements of Hip Hop. When I say “Hip-Hop,” you say “On Time.” Hip Hop … You were late with the response, my dude. “Real Nigga Time” knows no bounds and plagues every damn battle rap show, of which I’ve been apart, or, simply, attended. When the Crowd has to wait in line for hours, then has to wait for the first battle for hours, and then has to wait for what adds up to hours between battles, it becomes understandable that they get impatient. Said impatience leads them to be more ornery and less easy to please, i.e. booing set ups and heckling the slightest stumbles, which contributes to them leaving before the very Main Event they waited damn near all day to see. Battle rap event organizers need to make the experience more enjoyable to the 100’s in attendance and the 1000’s watching around the world. Massacre of The Bay (MOB,) I believe, tried to bring in body painting and a petting zoo and shit, but one needs to only look towards the recent Total Slaughter event to see how shortening the lull can keep a live crowd’s energy and attention. And no, you don’t need Sway screaming “We have a battle, ladies and gentlemen!” while one MC is getting his ass kicked. No, we don’t need DJ Hates Post-Y2K-Rap playing Aesop Rock for 45 minutes in between bathroom breaks. All you need is punctuality. Keep things moving briskly and shit will pay off for you in the end. People didn’t’ leave during Hollow’s battle versus Hitman because it was whack, they left because niggas were sleepy … Hollow (Joe Budden line.) Granted, the battle wasn’t the greatest ever, but half of those whom left before it was over, left before it ever even started. The other half stayed just long enough to ensure they could hear themselves booing on youtube without having to fast forward too far. All that standing around is uncomfortable as hell and will lead to the battlers losing something from the crowd - ask Danny Myers.
Give Them Bullets Room To Breathe
I’m going to keep this short and to the point like n-ash (that’s nash!) Stop putting so many fucking battles on the card. Ever heard of the law of diminishing returns? Basically, if I can plagiarize businessdictionary.com without a law suit, the law is a concept in economics that states, “If one factor of production (number of battles on a card, for example) is increased while other factors (average attention span and the length of time it takes for Danny Myers to get comfortable by taking off his Jordans, for example) are held constant, then the output per unit of the variable factor will eventually diminish.” I say that to say this: too much of a good thing makes that thing bad, eventually. If your big event has too many battles to fit the flyer, (Slaughterhouse gon be there) then you may need to scale it back a bit. Every card doesn’t have to be every match you can possibly imagine. Spread the love and make each card special throughout the year. You know why Boxing Cards usually have 4 fights or less on the PPV? Because they understand that you don’t fill them clips too high; give them bullets room breathe. (he said it, he said it.) Damn, where was I… Yeah, the crowd would be a lot more excited for the main event if they didn’t have to go through 9 main events. Is it “Night of Main Events” or “Night of Booing the Shit out of Battlers?” Look at How many battles were on the undercard for Hollow vs Lux. Look at how many were on Total Slaughter. Despite the online experience (those in charge of Total Slaughter underestimated the amount of buys, the event would get - it was a staggering amount,) Total Slaughter and Hollow vs Lux were pretty damn successful events with which most who attended had no problem. I believe that’s in part due to the short list of undercard battles; in conjunction with timely event proceedings (in the case of Total Slaughter.)
Mr. Fix It
We know that Less is more and timing is everything, (and it seems to be the key) but also, I think these leagues should get creative with the line-ups. We all know that most undercard battles can steal the show and despite what the view count says, most of the undercard battlers are well known by the battle rap fan base, so why not switch it up? Put your main event on third. Shit, put it on first. Why not? Why wait till the crowd is all “mmmm’d” out and already heard the reference to some current event in someone’s punch 3 times? I’ve been battling and attending events for about 6 or 7 years and the one thing I’ve noticed is that the first battle gets crazy reaction, no matter how whack it is or who is in it. Go back to all URL’s Summer Madness or NOME cards and I bet, more often than not, it was said (or tweeted) that the first battle on the card was “CRAZY.” In Grind Time, they would have “try out” battles that got 25 views on youtube, but, live, the audience could have convinced you that Zeus was battling the Titans with all the reaction. This is a direct result to them still being excited and the long-ass wait to start had them “fiending” for someone to hypothetically pull some caliber of gun and kill someone else creatively. With that in mind, imagine if an event started at 4pm, was over by 8pm and the 5 battles on the card were, in fact, “CRAZY.” Damn, there’s some money to be made around here.
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Legend of the Fall-Offs: Why a return to battle rap isn't for everyone
September 2, 2014, 8:27 pm
Image by Rehab Regime
LEGEND OF
THE FALL-OFFS
WHY A RETURN TO BATTLE RAP ISN’T FOR EVERYONE
Most rappers don't want to admit when their time is up. They don't even realize it most times. That's because most people once in a position of power or popularity, surround themselves with yes-men who aren't willing to tell these artists the truth about themselves. The legend of the fall off's is probably one of the scariest legends that exists because eventually, EVERYONE falls the fuck off. Not to be sensationalist but even fucking Michael Jackson fell the fuck off. Feel how you want to about that sentence but its TRUE! I remember the year before MJ died - NONE of you mofuckas gave a flying fuck about Mike and the music he was releasing, but SOON as he DIED?!?! Y’all were falling all over each other trying to show your "appreciation" ... foh b.
Battle rap fanatics are some of the most illogical misinformed group of niche fans to ever exist. I've heard battle rap fans say some of the most illogical shit EVER. Battle rap super fanatics believe all sorts of imaginary fairy tales. They're like religious people to me (but hey this is about battle rap, so let me not get religion involved.) Battle rap fans SWORE that because once upon a time Canibus was a dope rapper that somehow would translate to him being a good battle rapper. Now that the "Tom Cruise Mom's Shoes" moment is behind us, its easy for TONS of you to say, "Oh I knew that was going to happen." AFTER THE FACT, after it happened anyone can say that. I have been saying that shit. I said it about Canibus, I said it about Joe Budden, I'm SAYING IT NOW about Cassidy and even to a certain degree about Fredro Starr and Keith Murray.
ITS NOT JUST THEM! O-solo, Reed Dollaz, Madchild - the list goes on and on and on. Battle rap in the '10's isn't as easy as it was back in 90s. Trust me, I've done both. That is the main difference between battle rap fanatics who don't actually shit about this culture and guys like me, who leaked over from the streets of NYC battle rapping back in the 90s to this present era. You guys think that because Joe Budden is in Slaughterhouse that somehow he would be different from Canibus. There are Joey fans out there still pretending ya boy was actually doing "ok." BAHAHA I won’t quote him, but (he had) so much shitty material. Such a shitty PERFORMANCE of said shitty material, such shitty DELIVERY on top of shitty PERFORMANCE on top of shitty material. You want ME to give THAT bullshit props?! If he actually got paid 200k or whatever silly, "I'm gonna say i'm getting paid an astronomical number so that it negates when i'm losing and doing horribly" number he said he got paid??!?! That shit was a WASTE of money. (Hey Eminem if you're reading this, next time save ya Slaughterhouse boys the embarrassment in the eyes of those of us who actually KNOW what's happening and just pay them that money out right and save ya boys the public humiliation.) On another note, Joey is so used to being embarrassed, does it even count? Can you actually embarrass someone who isn't embarrassed by ANYTHING!? I digress.
My real point? Y’all need to STOP wanting to see washed up rappers and battle rappers of the past in this present setting. Cassidy is going to get WASHED by Dizaster (as badly as Canibus? Probably not, but it will still be bad, and Cassidy fans will pretend he wasn't "THAT bad," same as Joe Budden’s fans.) I fully believe Keith Murray is going to win that battle vs Fredro Starr and I am curious to see future events and endeavors from MC War (I would have preferred to watch Black Rob vs Keith Murray which was the original battle, but I'll watch Fredro get washed up too.) That battle doesn't have me excited, I highly doubt its going to be “a classic."
Why? Because, it's a waste of money, time and resources. Its just an outright WASTE. Most of the modern day “classics” that have come about in the past few years do not involve an old rapper who is no longer signed to a major label or some battle rapper from the "golden era" coming back and getting washed in the modern era. Honestly, name me ONE of these situations where you brought in some 90s rapper or some battle rapper from the pre-youtube era of battling and it was a CLASSIC? I'll wait ... YOU CANT! Some guys did ok: Mac Lethal proved he can do pretty fucking good, but that's the EXCEPTION, not the RULE. THE RULE IS: Washed up rapper gets paid MAD money to fumble around and put on a half-assed performance while the super fans pretend like it WASN'T the body that it WAS. The real fans are disappointed, the battle rap community gets raped by said washed up rapper, some angel investor is jaded after said shitty performance, and the battle rap movement is no closer to this pinnacle we're trying to reach!
But that ain't really none of my business. [sips tea] If the superfans and uninformed angel investors want to WASTE, both time and money (two incredibly valuable resources) then go right ahead. I'll just be sitting here, sipping my tea and saying "I TOLD YOU SO" after every attempt at the same exact broken idea/system of, "Lets bring in ‘such and such’ to do something COMPLETELY OUTSIDE of their comfort zone." YEAH! That’s gonna be the "winning formula." Surely, that will be the move that catapults battle rap to the forefront of the mainstream. Don't even get me started on that whole desire to see battle rap on a mainstream level - personally, I know better than that shit, but that's another article for another time. For now, I'm just gonna get my "I TOLD YOU SO” ready for Dizaster vs Cassidy and Fredro Starr vs Keith Murray.
Sincerely,
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